We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
