I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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