Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
