I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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