I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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