Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
