I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
