I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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