well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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