I like to think it a success when the cops are called
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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