I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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