Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I AM VODKA MAN
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
