I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
