i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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