Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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