Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize