wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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