Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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