my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
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