i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
