Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
