She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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