waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
