anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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