We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
