Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
