Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
So much rum. So many feels.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
