im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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