Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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