There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
third nipple confirmed
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
