Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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