She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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