It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
