wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
