Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I woke up under a house in Key West
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