Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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