So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
