so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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