found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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