but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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