Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
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