I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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