If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
