I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
