It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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