grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
