think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
