She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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