Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
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win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
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And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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