margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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