If that was your dad, he is hot
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
