Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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