How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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