Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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