Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
