Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
