After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
