it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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