I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
