we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
