Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
