1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
