shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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