I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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