Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
