dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
