He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize