well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
