I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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