god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
